Okay… raise your tiny fist if you’ve had something taken from you at the airport gate.
Yeah, me too. My water bottles, tweezers and little red Swiss Army Knives have all made it into the TSA refuse pile.
Fellow foodies returning from far-flung feasts (the recent AAA estimate put this year’s holiday travel number at 37.2 million Americans traveling 50 or more miles from home) should appreciate this delicious moment relayed from the rim of the shiny silver TSA arch.
Subject: Sweet moment in airport security
Last week I went through security at Newark. I had just put my carry-on, pocket stuff, laptop and shoes on the belt and was standing in stocking feet waiting to go through the metal detection arch. A dozen people were in line for the arch ahead of me.
I looked down. There was a bin full of discarded bottles. Most, but not all, were plastic.
I espied a long, thin bottle of dark fluid. “Tawny Port,” it said, “20 years old.” Unopened.
I picked it up. Nobody cared.
I opened the plastic. Nobody cared.
I uncorked it. Nobody cared.
I took a fine, heady draught of very very nice port.
Other passengers were curious but declined to share it with me.
Regretfully I put it back in the bin and strode through the arch, feeling for once that I had not been violated, but elevated, by the Security Experience.